A Few Observations on Seven Months of Unemployment

This is hard to say out loud, but I’ve been unemployed since July. It feels like it’s been forever and it also feels like it was just yesterday that I last worked a 40+ hour work week. It’s been a stretch that’s been both exactly what I expected, and nothing like it at all. Even in this stretch, though, I’ve learned a lot about myself and the world I live in. Here are a few things I’ve learned over the last few months.

You can’t think about “it” all the time. A couple years ago, I had a friend who was unemployed for a long stretch. I was amazed at how seemingly “normal” our conversations and interactions were, week to week. While we talked about his struggle to find a job, he still just went about living life. At the time, this felt really odd to me. I found myself thinking, “Shouldn’t he be more worried about finding a job? Isn’t he going crazy inside?” Fast forward to today, and I find myself in the same situation, and my guess is that people are quietly having the same thoughts about me.

Here’s what I’ve learned: you simply cannot think about your unemployment non-stop. If you do, it will break you. There are definitely days I obsess over it, and days I spiral into mental distress. However, it’s that very spiral that keeps me from allowing myself to repeat the cycle day-in and day-out. I would be of no use to my family, to my friends, or to potential employers if that was the outlook I brought to the table. That’s not to say it’s not constantly in the back of my mind — it is, trust me. But I’ve managed to keep it in the background more often that not. So when you have conversations with me (or friends like me), know that we are thinking about it, even if it doesn’t seem like it. We’re just not ONLY thinking about it, and that’s better for everyone involved.

Employment HR is broken. This could easily be its own series of posts, and is not news to anyone who has looked for a job recently, but the stark reality of the situation has hit me square in the face these last few months. Consider:

• There is no good algorithm for recommending jobs. LinkedIn’s recommendation engine is a joke, and sites like ZipRecruiter aren’t much better (and in some situations may actually be worse.)
• Most jobs boards are updated at an inexcusably slow pace. Jobs that have been closed for weeks still show up online and in my email.
• Job descriptions are laughable. From unrealistic experience requirements (ex: 15+ years in social media for a Director role) to “here’s a lot of words that don’t actually say anything” postings, there has to be a better way to explain what a role is actually supposed to do, and what skills will actually be required in the role to be successful.
• Many corporate HR processes are maddening. I’ve come across many jobs that were never actually open (read internal candidate identified) but companies still posted them publicly. I’m all for legality and transparency, but posting a job to literally check a box and then not communicating that the posting itself was just to check said box is just ridiculous.
• Communication is one way. Speaking of communication, while I appreciate there are many more people applying for jobs right now, HR teams really struggle when it comes to communicating with applicants. While there are certainly spam applicants (people literally applying to everything, regardless of fit), when an applicant takes the time to tweak their resume and write a cover letter as a proof point of their interest, the least the HR team can do is communicate back to the applicant. I don’t care if it’s a form email saying the company won’t be moving forward with the application, or something more personal, the point is: communicate something.

The bottom line here: Despite all that’s been done in the last few years to revolutionize HR, there’s still a lot of opportunity in the space.

I miss people. This has been probably the biggest surprise, to be completely honest. I am a classic introvert, so I’m generally very at ease working in isolation or just putting my head down and getting to it. What I’ve learned during this stretch is that I miss the spark of team interaction. I miss debating strategies, providing notes on creative pitches, and discussing the implications of what we’re seeing in the data. Those things give me life, and energy. And yes, I even miss a little bit of the mindless office banter. Just a little bit though.

The biggest frustration is health insurance. I’ve been fortunate to land a couple short-term consulting gigs over the last few months. While I’ve enjoyed the work variety, I’m not sure I could ever correctly balance the salesmanship versus “do the work” persona that you need to be successful as an independent consultant. However, that isn’t the biggest stumbling block for me. The biggest is the looming question of health insurance. Private family health insurance is cost-prohibitive, full stop. Because I’m unemployed, my children are covered. My wife and I, however, are currently without health insurance. This is a constant stresser, and nearly guarantees that I will be returning to the corporate work force as soon as I can land a role. It’s also frustrating that health care is the factor making the decision to go back, not the work.

It’s not all bad. In a season of both unemployment and a global pandemic, it would be easy for me to focus on the negatives. Buy why? Here are four benefits I’ve been able to unlock even in this unprecedented time:

1. More morning time with my kids. I’ve always been a morning person, but for nearly two decades my morning routine has involved being at the gym sometime between 4:30 and 6am. That’s all changed these last few months. The 2020–21 school year is one of only two years when our kids will all be at different schools (one in high school, one in middle school and one in elementary.) This opens up a unique opportunity for me to spend a little time with each of them individually before they head out the door each morning. Not a lot of time, mind you, but enough that it is felt and appreciated (at least by me.) Even if all I’m able to do is rush them out of the house to carpool, or fill up their water bottle for them to save them a little time, I love getting to see my kids before 7pm every day. This benefit is also appreciated by my wife, who is most definitely NOT a morning person. #doublebonus
2. More time with my wife. In the midst of this season, we’re fortunate my wife still has a part-time job that she loves, that she’s great at, and that brings in income every month. However, her part time status has also meant that she has some flexibility in her schedule, giving us the chance to spend bonus time together. This may mean having coffee together in the morning, or having lunch at our kitchen bar. It may even mean getting to take a Friday (her day off) to do whatever we want… simply because we can. Whichever way you slice it, though, it’s been awesome.
3. More time with abandoned hobbies. I’ve long had two hobbies that just return me to center. One is shooting hoops (usually by myself), and the other is playing and writing music. For a host of reasons, both of these past times have taken a back seat over the last 10 years. However, this break in my regularly scheduled programming has given me a chance to spend more time with both hobbies again. We have a basketball goal at our community tennis court, so there were many Summer days when I’d stroll down after lunch and just shot some baskets for an hour or so, simply to clear my head. On the music front, it’s been fun learning how ridiculously far technology has come in the last fifteen years. (Side note: for those of you that didn’t know, before moving to Atlanta for grad school, I spent six years in Nashville pursing the dream of being a professional musician.) I’m amazed at what I can do on my iPhone, let alone my computer.
4. More time to nap. I’m a big proponent of naps. Not 2 hour marathon naps, but 15–20 minute cat naps in the early afternoon to help recharge. I’ve not missed many naps since I was laid off, I can assure you of that! I definitely hope to be able to somehow incorpoate this into my “normal” routine, once it returns.

I still believe my next job is right around the corner. I will continue to push forward to find the right fit for my personality and skill set. But over half a year in to this odd season, I’m looking for all the silver linings I can find, and I can honestly say there’ve been plenty to see.